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Wonder Woman’s Six Scripts

Condensed into one final script.

Using Post Its.

I’m speculating and will probably come up with even worse treatments.

It will feature equal parts forced romcom, awkward political thriller, slow motion and possible wink and nod to how truly awkward it is to shovel 75 years of history into a two hour story.

Opening scene is Diana Prince, love and romance expert, writing a Sex in The City style article for the Daily Planet’s digital edition. She’s average looking. Brown hair pulled into a bun, green eyes, fair skin, a bought off the rack power suit. Has a framed picture of her cat. They want to downplay how good she really is.

Lois Lane is more desirable than she is.

Basically, she’s a swipe to the left on Tinder.

The plot will have to be something fun flirty and slightly dangerous because she will have to have a romantic foil or some kind of reoccurring running gag about her appearance or something that will be vaguely hinted at. Like a less sexy Mr. And Mrs. Smith despite the spandex. They’ll make it so that she’s undateable because she’s strong but someone who’ll run to her rescue is man enough for her. It will be left out that she is a demigod on par with Hercules, that her mother is Queen of the Amazons and her father is Zeus. Or Ares. The audience will pretend that that back story isn’t the same as Xena’s but quietly lament the fact just the same.

No big deal

Some semblance of a spy story, maybe referencing the hot mess that was Batman V Superman: Pectoral Wars where a flashback will remind audiences that Diana/Wonder Woman was even in the damn thing in the first place. Probably the only good part of the entire movie. Explosions, heroic poses, this outfit.

but we’ll probably won’t even get a good explanation for this at all

In covering up, explaining, protecting Superman and Batman (theoretically, Diana’s investigative skills unearthed everything about the super bros in the movie) she’s unearthed a much bigger problem with Lex Luthor, evil evil evil etc something something generic enough to be engaging. The romantic foil will keep reminding Diana she hadn’t fed her cat while they’re in the middle of a daring escape in the invisible jet, which, because it needs to max out the budget, will be visible and have a striking resemblance to the X-Men’s Blackbird but only by like total coincidence.

thank God Bruce had Wonder Dog on standby though

By Act 3, we’ll have to set up that Aquaman is also a Justice Leaguer and is Jason Momoa.

Bless

The solution will be simple and she’ll tell chiseled, unnamed romantic foil that her destiny is with doing daring deeds, feeding her cat and yada yada yada.

The End.

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This isn’t the Marvel vs. DC comic book movie we deserve, it’s the one we need

good gawd

For The Win

(Handout) (Handout)

We at For The Win appreciate a good comic book story. We don’t try to hide it, that’s just the way we came out of the nuclear space ooze.

Our anticipation for the upcoming slate of Marvel and DC Comics movies has been well-established, and while they are going about assembling their films in markedly different ways, we can’t wait to watch both.

Enter this fan video, created by a man daring to dream. In a world where money, licensing rights, and celebrity contracts don’t exist, a film gets made titled Marvel vs. DC. It’s really amazing, and you love it. We all love it. The Sony hackers even love it.

Look at this trailer.

Sigh, this will never happen ever on any planet in any dimension. But it would be really awesome if it did, because it’s beautiful and great.

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Skip Bayless brags about predicting the Cowboys’ NFC East title, forgets he picked the Redskins

skip is old and forgets things

For The Win

(ESPN) (ESPN)

Skip Bayless is the grandaddy of hot take artists. There isn’t a person on this earth more capable of forming opinions rooted in nothing more than guts and will. For example:

Following the Cowboys’ blowout win over the Colts on Sunday night, Bayless crowed about his ability to see into the future.

Now, this may very well have happened. Stephen A. Smith may have found this prediction so outrageous that he had to exit the building. Of course, Bayless also had predicted…

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Brad Pitt’s Plan B To Receive PGA’s 2015 Visionary Award

well, why not

Deadline

The Producers Guild of America has chosen Brad Pitt’s Plan B Entertainment to receive its 2015 Visionary Award “for producing stories that have breathed new life into some of the seminal—and in some cases, most painful—episodes of our shared history.” The Visionary Award, sponsored by Delta Air Lines, recognizes television, film or new media producers for their unique or uplifting contributions to our culture through inspiring storytelling or performance. Partners Pitt, Dede Gardner and Jeremy Kleiner will accept the award at the 26th Annual Producers Guild Awards on January 24 at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza. From today’s release:

Plan B Entertainment receives this award on heels of their upcoming film, SELMA, adding to the company’s already impressive roster of critically acclaimed films such as 12 YEARS A SLAVE, HBO’S “The Normal Heart”, WORLD WAR Z, TREE OF LIFE and THE DEPARTED, among many others.

“For over a decade, Plan…

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Unedited Footage of A Bear

 

For the past fourteen years, Adult Swim (Cartoon Networks for the college crowd) has broadcast some insane, mind bending cartoons and short films but it’s entirely possible that they may have broadcast the most insane one yet.

From 10-3am, the program block runs cartoons ranging from Rick and Morty to Family Guy repeating the block at around 1 am. Recently, the channel has been broadcasting ‘informercials’ fifteen minute shorts that parody the late night early morning insomniac game and takes it to a whole other level.

Last night, or this morning, they aired Unedited Footage of a Bear.

I can’t tell you anything about it other than it’s insane.

It may actually top the equally batshit crazy Too Many Cooks.

The above parodied every type of series open trope and included a twist that continues to boggle people, a month after it’s release.

What Adult Swim is hoping to do with these shorts, no one knows, what is known is that they are showcasing some of the best dark humor out there and will remind you to refrain from falling asleep with the TV on.

I was violently awakened by the near end of Too Many Cooks after falling out with the TV on. I missed Unedited because…I fell asleep with the TV off.

Stay up and watch some of these 4am gems….they’re worth it.