Friday’s episode of Glee titled simply A Wedding smashed in so much fan service, I thought I was casually scrolling through a one hour Tumblr gif set.
After Santana proposed to Brittany in the choir room of McKinnley High and we were treated to another round of awkward singing by the kids who are supposed to be the new Gleeks but are being overshadowed by the older creeps who couldn’t let high school go, we dove head first into a wedding.
After dealing with Coach Beastie’s transitioning (which I get, I totally do) and seeing that the kids Will was teaching are scumbags (also evil dopplegangers of his beloved McKinnley kids) all of the plot lines need to start wrapping up before they start converging on one another like a hastily created multiverse.
Plot points in the Ryan Murphy-verse being what they are, this week kicks off with Brit and Santana, their two moms and their friends to a barn in Indiana where gay marriage is legal. Brit’s mom (the amazing Jennifer Coolidge) explains just how she discovered she was pregnant in a way that honestly can’t ever be brought to justice via text; go look it up. it’s amazing. With TV miracles and magic, the kids the original Gleeks never bothered to learn the names of, transform the barn into a chapel of love. Tina, still the fourth fiddle for some unknown reason, decides she’s going to propose to Mike Chiang because why not everyone is just barely out of high school, didn’t go to college and somehow living comfortably in Lima working at their old high school.
AGAIN TUMBLR THANK YOU.
Brit and Santana, both being brides, invite everyone to the bridal boutique (WHERE IS QUINN?!) to judge their choices in outfits. We’re treated to quirkily adorable montage of the girls in different dresses. Honestly, it’s just glorified costume porn and I’m horribly distracted by how much I want Naya Rivera to just eat a full turkey club sandwich. In any case, Brit finds the dress just as Santana walks out behind her.
Brit engages in wonky superstitious behavior.
“YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THE BRIDE BEFORE THE WEDDING”
That only works if…nevermind.
Brit then wants to sacrifice chickens in the choir room to sana sana culo de rana fix their potential nuptial jinx. Santana logically talks her down…and still doesn’t acknowledge that THERE IS NO PLACE SETTING FOR QUINN. God, you sleep with a girl one time you think you’d invite her to the wedding right ? Santana DOES notice the place for Sue and immediately loses her mind. Sue is a no go but after a heart to heart…well…Sue gets her way.
Sue convinces Santana’s staunchly ‘fuck that’ abuela to come to the wedding. She also convinces Kurt and Blaine to get over their will the or won’t they bullshit and with the help of Brit and Santana, agree they’re be married as well. Two gay birds, all the fabulous scones.
SUE FREAKING SYLVESTER WHO BASICALLY HATES EVERYONE DOES THE MOST WONDROUSLY SELFLESS THING JUST TO PROVE SHE ISN’T A PERPETUAL ASSHOLE.
The point of all of this is that this episode, with all of it’s bizarre plot twists, manages to shovel in all the things that make Glee fan fiction consumers salivate; weddings, happy endings and overwrought confessions of love. There are so many self aware one liners in this episode, I spent more time wishing I could type faster than appreciating the casual nature of TWO same sex marriages happening on network TV. The show essentially became meta. The show turned into a super musical version of Supernatural (I’m behind on that show, did the have a musical episode or nah?) and essentially skewered itself with punchlines, cheap shots and awkward dance numbers with the parents. Ken Jeong in all of his comedic glory kinda just faded to the background with this episode. Go figure.
To say it was incredibly saccharine would be an insult to actually saccharine things; it was every part of the internet coming to life in one 40 minute episode, ready for gifs and giving fan fiction writers a deserved night off. It was nice to see these two get their happy endings but that was more the power of fandom than it was an actual character development.