I’ve been terrible with all this haven’t I?
Waffle is a ghost. Somewhere between all the madness and chaos of my life, work and just holding on to everything that I could (plus not getting shit for Christmas, petty I know) I realized that Waffle is a lit cigarette in my chest. I still feel a ways but I guess I can’t hold my breath for so long because thats the best way to suffocate.
I finished strong at work.
I’m watching my brother turn 29.
I’m watching my mom battle cancer. She’s winning.
Started 2016 with my first West Coast trip to CES in Las Vegas where I broke night partying and slept on a plane back, exhausted but not hungover.
I’m in a very interesting relationship that started in a smokey house party, traveled onto Instagram, resulted in a long night hanging out in a car and continues in Bay Ridge. (This is entirely paraphrased and downplays the very intricacies of the entire event but you don’t need to know everything do you?)
I’m watching my credibility in this industry slowly expand and my ability to make things happen becoming more apparent.
I still have fears and anxiety and worry that it’s all going to disappear but the less I pay attention to that, the better. I’m working on being better acclimated to the world I’m in and trying to not be so stressed about how I sound to people or how I look but I’m learning that I’m not as bad as I think and this sense of self comes from having been around people who were more than likely already depending on my ability to be accommodating and generous.
I’m still learning to not be a punk speaking to people but also that people need to not be such assholes and the only way to survive them is to have a strong sense of self. I’m still working on that. I’m making a name for myself and that means more than I thought it could because I guess at some point I lost my voice and my spine and I’m finding that while learning to project more.
If I look back at where I was I can see the valley that I walked through, the trees I wrote my initials on and the places that became landmarks. If I stay too long looking I’ll miss what’s in front of me and in that regard, not go anywhere.
So I’m moving.
Where I’m going, I have no idea.